All Hot Guys Are Straight

All Hot GuysAre Straight

It’s my new mantra.

To catch you up to speed, my son came out to us last August. You can read about it here.

Since then, it’s like I’m suddenly hyper-aware of other gay young men. I hope this hyper-awareness doesn’t last forever, because it doesn’t matter, right? I know this… but for some reason, I notice it. I liken it to seeing pregnant women EVERYWHERE when my husband and I were trying to conceive. Or, just before we bought our 2014 Dodge Journey. Everyone was driving them. Now it’s like, “OMG, I know someone who is gay too!” It’s like I’m suddenly part of some elite club or something…

So we’re at this restaurant back in November, the four of us. We were having a great time together, I was enjoying some white wine and chatting with Tyler, while my husband was entertaining Caleb.

Then these two guys were seated next to us, Tyler and I were facing them.

Me: “Two of your people are next to us.”

Him: “My people?”

Me: *laughing* “I’m so clueless as to how to say it without sounding rude.”

Him: *laughing now too* “Mom, you can call them gay, it’s not an insult if they really are.”

Whew. Okay. That’s out of the way.

We continued with our conversation, and I noticed he kept staring, and I called him out on it.

I can’t help it, mom! They’re so hot!”

Me: “Pretty sure you don’t have a snowflake’s chance in hell with either one of them, because you’re a little young, first of all, and second, they kinda look like their together!”

My husband only caught the tail-end of the conversation and decided he really didn’t want to know what we were talking about.

I’m swilling wine at this point, because it’s truly a conversation I never imagined having with my son. I definitely imagined having it with a daughter though! Okay… so that’s another adjustment I need to make. I often think of that fun evening we had out as a family. Even though it felt weird to me to be chatting about ogling guys while we were ogling guys, with a guy… wow… I’m just so glad it didn’t LOOK weird (if you ask my husband though, I’m pretty sure we looked weird to him, hence why he didn’t want to know!).

Time passed and I was watching a movie with my husband, when Tyler came downstairs and kinda got interested in it too. I made a very slightly suggestive comment about Chris Evans, who happened to be in the movie. He agreed. A little too quickly. I can’t remember if I said anything to him or not (I’m sure he’ll refresh my memory after I post this lol), but I felt a little defensive. Um, I thought he was hot first, kiddo!

What’s next? He’s going to start drooling over Channing? Paws off, son! I’ll be the only one in this household drooling over that unattainable man who doesn’t even know, nor will he ever know, of my existence, like I would ever have a shot in hell with him, even if I wasn’t married, and neither was he! Paws off, I say!

So again… my mantra is now, “All hot guys are straight.” 😉


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